Siyach

Abide in Me, and I in you. As the branch cannot bear fruit of itself unless it remains in the vine, so neither can you unless you abide in Me. I am the Vine, you are the branches. He who abides in Me, and I in him, the same brings forth much fruit; for without Me you can do nothing. If anyone does not abide in Me, he is cast out as a branch and is withered. And they gather and cast them into the fire, and they are burned. If you abide in Me, and My Words abide in you, you shall ask what you will, and it shall be done to you. In this My Father is glorified, that you bear much fruit, so you shall be My disciples.
(John 15:4-8)

But the fruit of the Spirit is: love, joy, peace, long-suffering, kindness, goodness, faith, meekness, self-control; against such things there is no law.
(Gal 5:22-23)

My whole life I have felt that I do not exhibit the fruit of the spirit in a way that glorifies God. I am impatient, direct, lacking in self control. And because I talk a lot, I betray my faults to others.

I have despaired at my failure – no matter what I do, I cannot display these fruit – with Paul I cry

For I know that nothing good dwells in me, that is, in my flesh. For I have the desire to do what is right, but not the ability to carry it out. For I do not do the good I want, but the evil I do not want is what I keep on doing.
(Rom 7:18-19)

And while I know that

There is therefore now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus. For the law of the Spirit of life has set you free in Christ Jesus from the law of sin and death. (Rom 8:1-2)

it doesn’t make me feel better, knowing that, as we saw above “In this My Father is glorified, that you bear much fruit.”

It is only in the last year or so that the reality of the earlier part of that passage from John was revealed to me… that the fruit are produced by abiding, not by trying.

As so profoundly stated by Jedi Master Yoda in the Star Wars movies,

“Do or do not, there is no try.”

“Abide” – it is not a word we use now. The Greek word is

men’-o
A primary verb; to stay (in a given place, state, relation or expectancy): – abide, continue, dwell, endure, be present, remain, stand, tarry (for), X thine own.

Continue in me? Dwell in me? Endure in me? The concept is still obscured by old language. Allan Barnes comments

Abide in me – Remain united to me by a living faith. Live a life of dependence on me, and obey my doctrines, imitate my example, and constantly exercise faith in me.
And I in you – That is, if you remain attached to me, I will remain with you, and will teach, guide, and comfort you.

It is a little clearer, but it wasn’t until I read a comment in a Christian book recently (and I would reference it if I could remember which one) that made the observation that we don’t have goals for the growth of our kids – we just know that if we feed them right, make sure they get sufficient exercise and sun, they will grow.

Likewise, if we are reading the bible, spending time in prayer and meditation, obeying the principals we know to be God’s, then growth of the fruit will happen. We don’t need to spend energy making the fruit grow – we need to spend energy providing a healthy spiritual environment and life, and the fruit will naturally grow.

What I had been doing was concentrating on the branches – “watering the branch and hoping an orange will grow” as my husband so aptly put it. Instead, my focus should have been on the graft into the rootstock – make sure the cut from my old roots was clean and sharp, dipped in grafting hormone of baptismal waters, get support with fellowship and accountability as my grafting tape, staying still in the graft, not picking myself up and trying a new location, reading the Word to be fed with the right nutrients, pray and meditate to expel the toxins. I know the rootstock is healthy and obtains all the nutrients it needs, and I know it will pass those nutrients to me. And just grow – naturally.

Thank God He gives me time